This week my daughter Scarlet turned 11 weeks…it’s been almost three months since I gave birth and I finally have the courage to share my birth story.

Giving birth was such an intimate, private and primal experience. At times it was also challenging, scary, sensual, erotic, ecstatic and even orgasmic.

It was the most beautiful, powerful, sacred and challenging thing I’ve ever done. I wasn’t sure when I wanted to share my birth story, because I’ve still been processing it and it’s really hazy for me…

I was deep in an altered state of consciousness (as someone is while giving birth) so it’s hard to remember the details or timeline of it all.

Regardless, I wanted to share my ecstatic birth story with you, which was a home water birth, because I think it’s important to normalize birth and the whole range of experiences we can have during such a vulnerable, life-changing event.

An experience that is physiological, sexual, spiritual and emotional.

Raw, uninhibited and wild. (For me, at least)

The paradox is that it was a challenging and intense experience AND I experienced so many moments of ecstasy and the surges (contractions) felt so much like an orgasm that all I could do was surrender and ride the waves of energy.

Sometimes when it was super intense (as it was for most of my labor experience) I would shut down, contract and close up in fear…

Fear of dying

Fear of not being able to do it

Fear of it being too much

Fear of it hurting

Fear of my body failing me

Fear of not making it through to the other side

Fear of the unknown

Fear that my body would rip apart

And when I contracted and tried to fight the surges as my cervix thinned and opened, I would become fearful and kink the flow of energy.

But when I remembered (or was reminded by my doula or partner, Andy) that I could do it…that I could handle it…that my body was designed to do this…I would open, soften, surrender and let it flow through me.

There were moments where I felt shocked by the energy flowing through me…moments that felt like a surprise orgasm which made me involuntarily shout “OH!”

There were moments where I had to lean on someone or simply be alone to growl and moan the most guttural, primal and even erotic noises I’ve ever made.

This story is intimate to me so I won’t be sharing every single detail… some of it I want to keep sacred between those who were present at the birth with me.

Before I share my birth story I just want to say that this is MY experience. My experience does not cancel out, diminish or invalidate your or anyone else’s birth experience. Every birth is unique and I also realize that I am very privileged to have gone a more holistic route with a home water birth, midwife, doula, etc.

Not everyone has access to the choices I’ve made. Not everyone knows that there are more options and choices.

Having said that, I put in a lot of hard work, research, practice and conscious effort into preparing for and creating the best experience I could while ultimately surrendering to whatever happened during birth.

Also, this is my birth in a nutshell, but not the entire experience. There are too many emotions, moments, feelings and sensations that ultimately wove the tapestry of my birth experience together.

It all started when I was massaging my breasts and breathing into my cervix…

You can watch my ecstatic home water birth story below to find out how it all unfolded and what the experience was like for me.

Watch Why I’m Planning an Orgasmic Birth here.

One of the practices I did during labor and to prepare for birth was orgasmic breathwork. Subscribe to my erotic email community for weekly musings, rituals and sex tips AND get my orgasmic breathwork practice for free HERE.

Thank you for witnessing me.

I love you.

xx

Amber