Having sexual intercourse for the first time after giving birth to my daughter, Scarlet, in September 2018 was one of the most tender, healing and emotional moments of my entire sexual life so far.
It was raw, erotic…even filled with some fear, anxiety and curiosity.
It was also filled with a lot of awkward and uncomfortable moments of asking for more of what I needed, shifting positions so that it was pleasurable for me and expressing emotions as they arose and flowed through me in waves.
I wasn’t sure what to expect.
- What would it feel like?
- Would it hurt?
- Would I still be as orgasmic?
- Would I need more lube or “foreplay” (I’m not a fan of this word and I tell you why in the video below)?
- When would sex feel amazing again?
The Patriarchal society bombards us with messages — both outright and subliminal — that once you become a mother or have a baby, that being sexual, enjoying sex and having EVEN BETTER sex goes out the window.
We’re unconsciously & consciously fed the Madonna/Whore story and often split off from our erotic selves once we have a baby. The Lilith & Eve dichotomy. You can be a virginal wife/mother/caretaker OR you can be a sexual, seductive, erotic creature. But NOT both.
Obviously this is a lie and it takes a lot of erotic de-conditioning and sexual shadow integration — excavating what’s true for you and approving of ALL sides of your sexual nature, including your shadows — for this lie to dissolve and leave our erotic body and energy systems.
No one tells you what to expect when it comes to sex (in this case, penetration specifically) after having a baby or giving birth.
There are so many things I learned about post-birth vaginal sex and I want to share them with you, because perhaps you’ve given birth or want to one day and I hope that you can treat the first moments (and times) of post-birth penetration as a rite of passage.
An initiation deeper into your erotic nature, even if you feel the opposite of erotic right now…perhaps having trepidation, fear or anxiety around having no desire at the moment for vaginal sex.
In this week’s video I’m sharing 5 things that no one tells you about vaginal sex after having a baby or giving birth.
I find that these lessons are invaluable and may help take the pressure off of womxn (you, included if you’ve had or plan to have a baby) and couples who are having sex again after baby.
VIDEOS YOU MIGHT ENJOY RELATED TO THIS ONE:
5 Reasons Why I’m Masturbating During Pregnancy
How Pregnancy Has Affected My Sexuality
Why I’m Planning an Orgasmic Birth
My Ecstatic Birth Story (Water Birth at Home)
You can download my 7 Jade Egg Secrets for Deeper Vaginal Pleasure and Orgasms ebook here to get started on your practice.
With Eros & Love,
x
Amber